LALALAS~!

Moved!

2010-08-17T20:30:00.003+08:00

Hello! Moved to (removed url) :D
But will not delete this blog. haha.

dreams. o.o

2010-08-12T20:35:00.002+08:00

Ever think about what a dream could do to you?
Hahaha.. I have weird dreams de lo -.-
Hahaha. Somehow, I hope no one see this post.

I know, dreams are unrealistic.
But do you know, some of them are related to our lifes?
Lots of them are.

Some weird dreams yesterday.
It suck.
Pains.
Leave.
You gonna leave.
People changed.
People cry.
People endure.
People dispersed.
Different.
Half an hour for the departure.
The feeling, is damn realistic? hahaha.

& Today , I shut things off.
That dream became a reality for me huh.
I wonder if tomorrow will be alright.
Things will leave huh.

This feeling suck.
Esp one about to be.

How dead should things be.

OOOO

2010-08-03T21:59:00.003+08:00

:O

One month never post le(:
Hahahhaha. Just some updatessss.

SIBF on 23rd July we got high silver!
89.6%, just 0.4% more -.- LOL.

So boring & tiring.
& Realised that our school is gonna
be infested with millipedes soon.
Hahahaha.

&, With simpiggy now.(:
(Wow, I'm indeed a spreader, LOL.)

Can you see?

2010-07-05T22:01:00.002+08:00

Does it make you sad?

When you are still living in the present ;
Yet when you think about tomorrow or the future,
It makes you feel like dying or you dreaded it so much.

I don't like facing things or even doubt every possibilities.
Even if its with one single problem,
It makes my head explode or the fear.
I don't know whats wrong or why,
It sucks to deal with things .
& Somehow, each & everytime I will lose.

Just like apple's.

So, Am I being controlled now?
Even at the most serious time,
People take me for granted.
Thinking I'm still a idiot,
But yet its a time where I could burst.
& Somehow, got serious to a disadvantage extent..

& I could say nothing,
Since I have gotten serious in that way,
& I had let them over my head.

Do you know, I have been trying to hold on long?
Just like apple's.
I realised my heart's muscles may be the strongest (:
But,
It still ain't enough huh.

Do you know, when with apple that period,
Of what he said. My heart is squeezing like mad.
Like er 'Keig'. Holding it firm huh(:
But, why does everybody have to shoot about it?
& At that time, I'm proud of myself that I still can smile(:
Do you all know?

Maybe I suck.
To run away at each point.
But I know, if I don't, I can't face you all.
Hahahha. & To a worser extent,
I might go mad somehow.

Like, I'm holding it long.
But everynight, it suck tons huh(:
Hahaha.

People,
There aren't even right or wrong.
So why does everyone tell me,
For whichever things that I choose,
Are always wrong?

& If you really understand so well,
Why can't you see that everything's turning darker?
Why can't you feel,
Its getting emptier?

If thats how you understand,
What if its you?

Can you see how its getting?
How each day is becoming?

& It isn't about grudge,
Every lies are pierced deeply.

Can you see?

ohoh

2010-06-07T23:18:00.002+08:00

Getting dead dead with things.

So much things to do,
So much mental strains,
Lots of expectations from so many people,
Chores all the way,
Responsibilties..

You know,
Suddenly.
I desperately hope for it to happen.
For it :
I want to die.

It will be bad.
But whatever.
I'm not alive.
Hahahaha.

hahahaha.

2010-05-27T19:53:00.002+08:00

Hahaha. Had been busy, & Fogetting to post recently(:
Did try to wrote afew, but internet problems.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm.. Actually.

I'm finding myself more & more speechless huh (:
Like,
There are lesser things to share already ;
Nothing much that I want to say ;
Things that I don't even want to say or even tell.

Hahahaha.
SA1 results was quite good ;D
At least, I did study hard luh...
My efforts or not, whatever you all want to see it as luh.

Band is as usual.
Usual anger.
Combine was damn damn fun.
Hahahaha!
But, other then that,
Fucking pissed.
Hah. Whatever huh.

Hahaha. Ya..

I'm waiting,
For that day that comes,
That changes.
With a new start,
A new story once more.
& Hence ; Once again,
I will leave out the past twice more.

hahaha

2010-05-10T23:30:00.000+08:00

Its dumb. Seriously dumb.

&, I decided to give it 2 more weeks so..

SA1 going halfway lo, Left 3 more papersssss.
Chinese Listening, POA & Amaths. Hah.
Tomorrow can go school at 10am++ oh! (: Heee..

Band will be resuming also... hah..
KL trip soon, Lots of people can't go ):
ShiZhe, YanShan they all.. Sad la.. hahaha..
& The more it made me to don't want -do-.

Its been long.. Maybe, for too long.
Hahahaha.. & Also, Is it realised?
That things are becoming untold..?
Hahahaha.. & Somethings, overload.

Like who will know.
Hah.
That things has been dumb,
That I ignored it,
That it came up now.
That its dumb.
For me to not know,
Yet to know & ignore.
How dumb.

Like I said,
Who cares?

&,
The solution is easy (:

600th

2010-04-26T21:40:00.002+08:00

Concidentally, this is my 600th post.

Its right. To be this way.
It has always been right.
& Always an expected.

How much can trying do,
When neither efforts or concern are there?
Till it has to be abandon on the others?
& What if there's only one left,
& Its not going any stable?

To push things to others,
When its the only thing that you can accomplish,
& Thy can't, With their parts at stake.

What if, its getting maddening mad with thy work?
To build up yours too.
How things became.

For the only thing I can't forsake,
Is it ;
The only thing that will stay with me forever..
Thy resemblance..

I won't going to need so ;
Thy way I chose when situation comes,
Thy way things differs.

.

2010-04-19T20:12:00.001+08:00

Everyone is evil ;
Something I just realised.

One thing that I don't understand about,
Is how people can even be evil.

Whats the point of so..

Something happened ;
Something gonna change.
I don't know.

I don't know what to do with it,
I don't know how..
Dumb enough for me to let it be.
Dumb enough of me..
But now, how?

Really..
Tell me how..
Cause,
Its irreversible..
&,

I don't know if its right or wrong..

Just plain.. stupid..

No wonder I had that nightmare..
Never thought it would be related..

AM I THAT STUPID THAT PEOPLE KEEP TAKING ME AS A FOOL?!

Wow, Great huh.

Enough.

2010-04-03T15:02:00.002+08:00

Real love is a pilgrimage.
It happens when there is no strategy,
But it is very rare because most people are strategists.

- Anita Brookner

I like this quote(:

Anyway, people,
If you can't understand whats with our situation,
Please stop commenting us like we are some jerks.

If you all can't get it of who the real jerks are,
Then you would get to experience it.

Its not that we give up,
Its that things are going way beyond,
& What we are seeing now,
Are only duties, regrets & memories.

Give us a break will you?
What more do you all want to force us with?
Another unfairness?
Another stupid conflict?
Another 'power'?
Another selfishness?

We don't want to want to care anymore.
We care alot more than you all did in the past,
& What we get was exhaustion,
Yet, Everything is still the same.

Differences.

2010-04-03T00:47:00.001+08:00

Duty makes us do things well,
But love makes us do them beautifully.

- Phillips Brooks.

Then can I ask,
Why does people judge us,
When they can't understand our situation,
& Have not been put into our places before?

So how are they to know what we have experienced?

Anyway, Today, 2nd April, Good Friday, was fun(:
Went JianCheng's house,
With YiSheng, ZeQuan, Eileen, ShengYong,
JunYan, Litat, My sis.
Hahaha. Played mahjong, Watched horror movie,
Ate Mac delivery at 10pm. LOL. Fattening, hahaha!
But I liked today (: But fun times don't lasts..

Maybe, I'm really making things complicated,
That things can have so many differences..

But I'm exhausted already, really..

.

2010-03-28T23:17:00.002+08:00

Something broke.

& I don't want to believe anymore.

.

2010-03-27T22:30:00.001+08:00

Liars.

Even at the point of exposing,
Lying as brilliantly as can be.

& When at the point of exposed,
Blames could be drawn.

& So, Why ain't it said at the first place,
Instead of denying so,
Denying till its seems utterly my fault for saying so.

Its easy to see, Of what you want so.
Its easy to see, Of what you are craving for.
How devious, To act up on me.
How smart of you, To make me a fool ;
To not realised it,
That I have been made a fool,
From the past until now so.

Even if so, Its enough uh.
We endured through that 1 year,
Thinking for a better team this time,
& Now, It seems wrong.
Its ANOTHER one more year for those things through.
So tell us, What do you all want?
Its wrong that way, & Now, Its wrong this way too?
So, What now huh?

People, just suck.

& I'm a fucking dumb idiot.

2010-03-21T15:08:00.005+08:00

You all can ignore this post if you want (:
Dumb idiot's post won't do you any good ;D LOL.
IGNOREEEEEEEEEE! Later eyes kanna blind!

-Anna.

HI! ALL!!! THIS IS YISHENG! dun believe? believe it!! i had went in to this blog because of someone's failure to protect her own password!! TOO BAD!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! GO SNSD!! JESSICA JUNG ROCKS!!! GO TO YOUTUBE NOW AND SEARCH FOR ''RUN DEVIL RUN'' : the best song ever!!

yours sincerely,
yisheng

P.S. the speed of light is 299792458m/s

simple, hilarious.

2010-03-19T01:16:00.001+08:00

One needs something to believe in, something for which one can have whole-hearted enthusiasm. One needs to feel that one's life has meaning, that one is needed in this world.

- Hannah Senesh.

Didn't realised, that I haven't update for 10 days already.
Lots of things happened maybe, But I keep forgetting.
Hahahaha. But somehow, mostly things that I won't want to know are remembered.

I decided somethings, But didn't do it.
It wasn't failing anyone, But myself.
It doesn't do bad to anyone, But myself.
Just that, I got so used to being that me with them,
I keep forgetting what is what when its fake..

Maybe I'm dumb, But I'm not dumb in someways.
I don't know what people are thinking,
But can people at least stop it from repeating?
Who would have know, that people whom you knew,
weren't like that at all.
Who would have know, that people who you thought were good people,
can change immediately when they win you.
So hows that examples to be...

Who would have knew,
That I thought at least we will aim it for a better one,
Turns out that people lied.. Faked..
& Why, must be that incident related again?
For whose advantage will it be then?

& Why, does things.. have to disappoint so much of?
I do know them right?
But it just seems, that the whole changed suddenly..
Simply hilarious..
A sudden change to devils...
Devils I never thought that were in them...

I thought, I can believe..
Simply, hilarious.

What can I say then.
Who should I say to then.
Why should I say then.
How many more.

Its enough uh people.
Why does it have to be should means to archieve things,
Why does it has to be such way to change..
& Simply, I'm not a complete fool to be blamed on ;
& If you don't know me,
I hated being blamed for something I didn't do,
Right from when I was young, Cursing those who do so.

I have my limits, I let it be.
I wanted you all to be happy, I thought you all were great.
But when things changed, I don't get it,
& You all make me feel inferior,
The neglence of something that I don't know whats what about,
Treat me as & when according to your ownself..

Since then, It broke.
Too bad if you all forgot the me,
Too bad if you all changed & thrown away the me,
Too bad if things will never be the same.

Cause when things goes away for me,
It will be never there.
Dumb ways to let go,
Dumb ways to end it & stop.

& Somehow I shall say the truth,
I hope everyone dies,
I hope the world dies,
I hope I die.

Way too many times.
Way too devious.
Way too over.

hah.

2010-03-08T23:06:00.000+08:00

Maybe, I'm just avoiding the facts. Maybe.

I wonder what processes through.
Tons of things maybe.
Tons of things that I wish I can be?
Tons of things that I wish I can get out from?

Hahaha. Ya.
But I know I will not get to be one so.
Of the wind, Of the leaves, Of the trees (:
Doens't it seems nice to be one of them?
Flowy~ Hahaha.. Nice to be floating around.

Studies piling up, People changing.
Who would not agree, that everyone is changing.
Who would not agree, that somethings are fading away.
Just facts that people need to aknowledge,
But yet, a factor that causes even more changes..

Since the most adaptable person would survive,
Then now, Does it seems like everyone will survive?

Dumb of me. Maybe I'm just stucked with it.
Totally stucked, With everything that got me in.
How does it seems, to be that.

So, For whatever outcome or way I chose to deal with it,
Shall be my own consequences (:
Since, I don't need one too. Just a waste of life.
Hahahaha. Just like how school's other activities are,
A waste of time. At least today was fun while booming away..

At least I forgot, what was there.

2010-03-06T21:06:00.003+08:00

Hellooo! Since Anna always instead of posting a happy one,
she posted something that I always dont understand. LOL!
hahahah! so i helped her post!^^

This girl called Anna and she rocks! heehee,
though she just like all of us, have bad points,
but I'm sure her good points is more than her bad points :DDD

must takecare of yourself oh! heeheehee!
& lastly,

I LOVE ANNA! :D

dumb.

2010-03-06T19:16:00.000+08:00

I DON'T NEED ANY OF THOSE.

&, I don't care.

&, I'm not dumb to not know so.

Hah, How fake can people get.

Funny uh?

huh.

2010-03-05T22:43:00.001+08:00

Many masks around, of what they are hiding.
Hiding of what they yearn for, Without showing it.
But yet, with actions of it.

I want to know what people are thinking ;
I don't want to know what people are thinking.

Different minds, Different ways.
Same yearnings, Same masks.

Wonder whats what to be..
Not understood.

Different things now,
Different sets of yearnings?

Why though,
Why does people want it so much?

& Does it have to be this way?
& What do they really want?

It sucks to know,
That it seems, the people surrounding me now,
In class or anywhere,
Are becoming like this.

Yes,
I know I'm not as good.
But just,
Is there a need to show out delibrately?
Cause, I don't care if you want to be the best or so ;
Cause, I don't care if who gets more popularity or so ;
Cause, I don't care if you are happier or so ;
I don't give a damn, If I matters anot.

Why do all this matters?
People proving to themselves that they are good?
I don't know, & I don't care.
At least, I don't need any of these..

Whether or not if I do matter,
Things can't be hidden forever..

& I know that,
For myself too..

How many times people,
For these to repeat once again.

busybusy anna(:

2010-03-03T22:42:00.003+08:00

Wo, Lei, Le . How .
Still have alot more to go .
Still have weeks to go .
Still have tons of things to do .

I want to sleep. Hahaha.
Will be sleeping earlier liaooo(:
Yuppppp, since busybusy liao(:

Anyway, Just to update something,
I have a new motto! ;D Wuaha!
& Maybe that will change things better in band?
Or maybe, towards myself to the better?
Lol, Ya. Which is :
I shall be totally serious during band.
Will not smile or laugh during fall in,
Know what I need to do or say,
Firm with my decisions & not sway.

Hahahaha, Ya (: Lol.
& Bytheway, I failed my Emaths,
So maybe the ace-learning can pass me bah?
Since I get 21/22! Hahaha.

Lol.. busybusy.. But don't know what to post.
& Friday Eileen's birthday celebration(:
Hahaha, Ya. Soooo, byebye(:

Sometimes, I don't even seem to know me .
What my actions are doing, yet somehow, I don't know.
When yesterday, I realised things again.

Its when I want to abandon the things away, thats why.
Thats why even if it appears so,
Something is trying to be thrown out of so .
But still, I don't understand. at all.

lala

2010-02-25T11:48:00.002+08:00

I'M BOREDDDD!!

Just now go see doctor, Got 2 days MC! Hah!
But, Tomorrow got Emaths test 2, zhe me ban!
I need/want that test! That chap is easy,
& It is also making up for my test 1 also,
THEN CAN GET HIGH MARKS EHHHH! Siannnnnnnn.

Later there will be band,
But I'm not sure if I should go not.
Ahhhhh, siannnn.

Lol.. Nothing more, Bye. (:

Just one day, anytime, any day,
it can/will happen.
will come so.

P.S : THIS FONT IS NICE ;D

hah .

2010-02-22T20:29:00.000+08:00

why.

must it be.

that.

i don't know what.

way.

whats with.

that.

i'm like.

all messed up.

reallyreally.

i don't get myself at all. at all.

1 Week again. My studies are falling behind.
Manymany things to do.

I don't see a next time,
I can't see a next time,
I don't need a next time.
So if its about my next time,
forget it. bahbah.

&, i think, somehow today,
i think, i kanna see through.
that stupid dumb pig idiot.

ohhsiannnnnnnn.
so what should what be?
lalala.
i feel like throwing every thing away,
every responsibilities,
everyone, every burdens, every work.
hahahaa, it will be heaven. i think.

lalala, byebye now (:
crap post.

n .

2010-02-15T23:46:00.000+08:00

Tons of things, that I will never understand.
& Maybe I'm posting all these stuffs here,
Is because it was never shown.

The me, That i'm used to that.

That : Just That Way Of Simple Complexity.

Come to terms with things,
Come to what terms?

Just, If thats the way I am now,
Nothing's gonna change it.

If thats the way I feel now,
Nothing's gonna be.

If I lost my thoughts & feelings so,
Then can i ask, What am I to be?

Tons of things that can be.
But now, Seems like there's one I want.

Avoid on & on & on.
I don't care, If people prejudice me for being this.
Its just, you all never gotten these feelings,
So how would you know?

What would be lost, will be.
& Maybe, Its just meant to be,
that I would lost me (:

Seems like, its as easy as anything can be.
& I DON'T NEED IT.
Ohmygod.. Hahaha.. There will be no difference, right?

It will still be the same.
just the same. (:

What does exists?

2010-02-12T23:59:00.008+08:00

Whose happiness matters most then? When both factors affect each sides..

Neither does each sides exists,
Neither are there wrong nor right,
So how do we even judge what we do?

& What do exists? If there's just to be no biased?

For today, I toured through different bookshops,
& Somehow, Learned alot alot.

People don't know themselves, Cause we can't.
We have different sides of ourselves & different shadows,
Some that comes out without us knowing it.
We can't control it, But just thats how we are supose to be?

& If others were to say they accept the individuals,
Do they accept all of their different sides too?
For this, I don't think so.
They only wants the side, that meets their requirements,
& Not totally them for who they are.

So how is that to be?

Life is simple, But thats what makes it complicated.
Just needa try to accept our ownself, & Find ourselves..

Guarantee me something, So that there's something to be there for.
Tell me something true, That true acceptance does exists.
Explain to me, That why does it aches when none is happy.
Teach me how, To make sure both sides is satisfied & happy.
Can they ever exists? Does real & true things/feelings exists?

I'm pessimistic perhaps, Like how I'm mostly described.
But its true, That I don't see these anymore..
That I think, It will never be again. Hahaha..

Even so, I can't even prove to myself that life exists.(:

There will be times, When I can't accept a side of myself.
There will be times, When I strongly opposed against one side of me,
& To push towards the other, Till I'm being marked as that typical type.
But thats all you know for that side, & Not for how the diferent sides can be.

Stop throwing.

2010-02-11T21:17:00.002+08:00

Unknowingly, 1 Week pass damn fast.
Always hoping for weekends, But just like that,
Its over. Hahaha. Have anyone hoped for time to be slower?

Because, Its going too fast, & Too slow.. Hahaha..

Lol, Don't know what to post. Hmmm..
Tomorrow going out with BigFam people (:
To watch 'Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief!' (:
Hahaha! Seems quite nice bahhh? LOL. & Shun bian study abit (:

Ohohoh! Hahaha, luckily last thursday I sick,
Never do emaths test (: Hahaha! If not fail lo!
Hahaha. & Detention sucks, teachers are being unreasonable.
Oh, & I still got alot of homeworks piling up..
God bless, hahaha (: & Finally, I'm getting 4 days break (:

Can I, stop putting in so much? Hahaha.. Cause it sucks..
That there's so much to do, & Yet everything is thrown on me..
& Do people even realise? That what they aren't serious about,
What they don't care about, Have some efforts that were put in?

& Somehow I wonder, Why am I putting so much in for?
Seriously I don't get it. & Sometimes, I just feel like walking out,
Without giving any sense of regret or effort anymore.
If thats how easily things are to be treated? Hilarious people.

All of this are tiring. That everything is piling up on me & Thrown at me,
How smart of all this uh? Yes, I'm complaining.
Cause I don't get it, Why somethings that can be done themselves,
Are thrown at me now. Sorry, But really, Its getting unfair..

Let it be blank.

2010-02-02T22:27:00.001+08:00

Hello (:
Never post for some time liao.
Quite afew things happened. Hahaha..
Just in summary uh (: (Maybe not :x)

29th Jan, Went to celebrate Jenson's birthday at Sentosa (:
Although his birthday was on 28th. Hahaha.
10 people went (: Basically :
Jenson, YiSheng, My sis, Eileen, JianCheng, ShengYong,
Charmaine, JunYan, ZeQuan & Me. (:

YupYup. Played on the beach, the seawater supersuper salty!
& That stupid dumbass pig is a dumb swimming pig (: LOL.
After that all of us bathed, & Ate. Ate quite long, Hahaha.
& We went to a tower through a stupid bridge. Lol.
Thanks to that dumbass pig, I was getting a phobia -.-
LOL, Seriously! Hahahaa.. & Then we went to vivo!

Bought cake & Have lots of cake smashings O.O
LOL. Hahaha, fun though (: Yupyup, & Went home (:

& On sunday, 31st Jan, Went lan with Eileen,
YiSheng & My sis! (: L4D2 ;D Fun though, Hahahaha!
& We played for 4hours, & BoBian need go ): LOL.
& They came my house awhile, & Yupyup, They went home (:

Hahahaha.. & Monday, morning band as usual. LOL. BB challenge (:
I improved uh.. At least I'm not so tensed up (: Hahaha..
& My scanning of notes are better now, LOL. (: Hah.. Ya..

So, yah. For the rest, I don't feel like saying, Bye (:

Can things, stop putting everything on me?
It feels hard to breathe on, When people just dump everything on me..
& When, Its already that hard to cope on so..
Just simple things you ask of me, How does it affects uh?

Stupid.

2010-01-26T22:58:00.001+08:00

Ohyes, Hilarious, Ridiculous.
This me, I want to make it up now.
That, I don't care. Just, quite funny,
That emotions can hide itself automatically,
Like as if it has became a habit uh? Nice.

Things can be super stupid. Oh comeon, Like i care.
Fuck here & there. Hahaha? -.- Stupid lo.
Yayayaya, WHATEVER FUCK.

Ohhhh, make me grow up faster please!
Then i could have the ability to faster runaway.
Run far, far away from this place,
where there just isn't any mis-understandment.
Really, I swear, When i have the ability to, I will.

People doesn't know or see me as me,
People pinpoint me when they just don't know.
Come on people, kick me out of this place,
Then i won't care about the abilities,
I would just run to somewhere where i will belong (:

Come on then, If thats how you want to think.
I don't even care, Since its your problem,
For not even understanding us at the first place.

Yup, how hilarious that life can turn out this way.
Come on people, kick me more out, Cause since its a trend.
Come on then, I don't even care, Just away,
From people WHO CAN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND.

Avoidings.

2010-01-19T20:55:00.001+08:00

有些事情，不是你说要不要面对就能面对的，而是你能不能面对。
就算想试试看，但应该知道后果会是这么样的吧。。
也知道，在哪个时候，我也需要放下一些事。。

Time to stop, to slow down, to let it fade, of somethings..
Time to gradually work hard, to put in alot..
Just that, I wonder if it will be okay.
Hahahaha.. Too much things up ahead, Complications maybe.

& Once again, I'm thinking too much. Just that,
I want to prevent the fact that i would need to think alot next time..
I want to avoid it as much as possible. If not,
I would just lost myself in the midist of complexity..

Maybe, people just can't understand (:
Since this is the situation that nobody wants..
Hhahaha.. Maybe its just isn't that simple (:
Just things that can overtake you & without any understandings..

& Maybe, I'm just not good at all.. Sorry if so.

---

Anyway! Found this on facebook. (:

Life Path Number 6: The Nurturer

Whether you are a man or a woman, if you are born under the Life Path Number 6 you have the gift of being the emotional centre of your family (or workplace, or town).

In order to feel happy, you must feel useful, and useful you are. A Life Path Number 6 is the ultimate family head, not in a dominating way but more like the axle on which the wheel turns. This is the most home and family oriented of numbers.

You are probably always ready to offer a friendly ear to a colleague, a home-cooked meal to a sad friend or a soothing touch to a sick child. You have emotional support to spare and your advice (when you give it) tends to be practical, kind and effective. Although your own moral code tends towards the conservative, you try very hard not to judge anyone else and this shines through in all of your dealings with people. You are probably loved, trusted and admired by those who know you well.

The downside of this wonderful nurturing ability is that you may feel that you are always the one waiting to pick up the load that other people drop. This is a very real danger for you, especially from the unscrupulous types who have no qualms about letting someone else do their dirty work. So ingrained is it in you to help wherever you can that you sometimes assume that everyone in the world is as trustworthy and fair as you are. If only it were so. This tendency to take on the burdens of others doesn't just apply to strangers and acquaintances: family members and other loved ones who are great people may often find themselves leaning on you just a little too heavily. From time to time, it is in the best interests of a Life Path Number 6 to say no, even if it's just for the practise.

Remember that it is sometimes just as helpful to let your loved ones take a little fall as it is to catch them.

---

True or not, Fake or not, I don't know (: Hahahaha..
& By the way, My maths is improving! (:
But school still sucks. Whats with the freak trip siol.. Lol.

Its a impossibility that things will be alright. (: I already know.

..

2010-01-14T19:50:00.000+08:00

I don't like this ):

I'mmmmm.... SPEECHLESSSSSS! ): Ohmygod....
So many thingys.. Ohmygod la! ):

SIBF , i know. i know. but,
just that its something we'll be able to together & bond well..
i know. i know. that its necessary..
but it will not be the feeling of one together..
i know. i know. really , i know.
but, i had once experience it,
i don't want to again.. it somehow shoot me hard..

i know. i'm asking too much,
but, i want the band... just them.. ahh..

i know. they have their priorities in life,
important things, i know..
but i never it would be this soon..
but i never thought she did have to go first..
& now, i'm missing her & them like hell..

i know i know. maybe i'm selfish to be thinking this way,
but, i know.. i just, don't know how to say, hahaha...
it won't be there anymore! ): Ohmygod. hahaha..

sorry for being this way, i'm sorry..
pretend that all this didn't happened,
& give me one day to be me again (: really...
sorry. sorry.

Chose it, face it (:

2010-01-09T23:34:00.000+08:00

Thanks everyone for the wishes & gifts ;D Hahaha, Realy thanks alot ;D
& For the cake smashed on my face, I WILL HAVE REVENGE ;D Hahahaha! LOL.

Hmmmmmmm. Yesterday diagnostic test was okay (: English Compo,
As usual, wrote my style of writing (: Hahaha.. Maths,
Okayokay? Just that i lost 1 mark due to stupidity, & graph sucks.
& Btw, I SWEAR, That i will study shit hard this year,
Godamit swear. 10 for L1R5, Its still somehow seems impossible.

Lol. & Btw, NOW, lets speak truths. I WANT RUNAWAY!
Seriously, I don't want face all this problems.
I know everything will be alright, But it isn't nice.

Sometimes, isn't it easier for both parties to let go abitbit?
Won't it be better if THEY did really spare a thought for one another?
If they did spare, then maybe all of them won't be hurt bah?
I don't want see or listen to ridiculous thingy..
I WANT be ALONE, So just go awayyyyy? Even if i listen,
I will shut my mind off.. Things are getting too complicated,
& I DON'T WANT MY MIND TO BE! JUST LET IT BE HAPPY LA!

I don't know what to say. Just look around yourselfs uh, & See whats wrong.
Don't say you care, When you do things at the expense of others.
Won't it be just better, when you calm yourselfs down,
& REALLYREALLY see whats wrong & right?

Hmmm.. But somehow, the world has no right & wrong uh?
Everything, has a purpose.. Good & Bad, Both present.
I wonder, whats wrong.. I'm feeling guiltyguilty?
Hahaha. I don't know if this will be bad or good to me.
If its a cheat, ya, i'm lose uh? LOL. Liars & cheaters..
If its good, i hope people alright..? Hahahaha..
Believe me or not.. so be it? Haha... Just let me go my own way,
This things aren't for me.. & I will escape. (:

Tomorrow lan-ing, Then, Will really chiong studies lo.. (:
Hmmm.. It will be tedious, hahaha. I hope i get good grades (:
Yupppp.. &&&, I HOPE WE'LL HAVE SIBF, PLEASEPLEASE! :X Ya..

Its the path that you choosed yourself,
Its the ending, results & consequnces you must face yourself.

WUAHAHA

2010-01-05T22:52:00.000+08:00

Everything will be alright, Right?
Somehow, I believe it will be so (:

Today is dramaticccccc, hahahaha! But alright now (:
Just that i couldn't control myself at that time -.-
LOL. Hahahaha! So MANYYYY thingys ohhhhhhh! Yaaaaaaaaa.

HAHAHAHA. & THIS YEAR, NEW YEAR IS ON VALENTINE'S!
AIYOYO! The people go date become need bai nian, hahahaha!
OHHHHHHHH, I EATING SUPPER NOW, HAHAHAHA!

I BELIEVE EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY (:
FOR THIS YEAR, MY MOST DETERMINED RESOLUTION ;
BE HAPPY! AFTER SAD, MUST HAPPY!

BYEBYE! ;DDD

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

2010-01-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

Okayyyyyyy, now still 11.22pm, haven't 2 January yet ;D Heheh.
Ohhhhh, & 7 more days ;D Wuahahahahaha!

Oh, NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS!! ;DD
- I WANT PASS ALL MY SUBJECTS, ESP MATHSS!
- I want be nice.
- I want to be non-self centered.
- I want to forget bad things & just blahblah ;D
- I WANT TO SLEEP MORE ;D
- I want everyone to be alright ;D Wuahahaha!
- Just smile (:

Yesterdayyyyyyy, Went ZeQuan's house play, Then went mall ;D
Hahahahaha. Then went to JianCheng's house stayover night, hahaha!
Got quite high when midnight, LOL. Can't stop laughing with ShiZhe,
Hahahaha! ;D LOL. Also watched a movie then crap awhile then sleep.
Hahahaha! Slept at 4.30am++. LOL. & They all wake up quite early today.

Hehehh. They keep waking me, but in the end, i woke up at 12pm ;D
Hahahaha! LOL. Then YiSheng came, Mahjong & rot awhile, jiu home lo ;D
But yesterday night was quite fun oh. At playground play game also ;D

Ohh, & School is starting SOON. Ahahaha, & I HAVEN'T COLLECT MY BOOKS :X
My POA book all that, still can take when school starts right? LOL.
Lalalaaaaaaa, Tomorrow got meeting & work ;D Heheheh!

Okayyy, Byebye looooooooo. Heheheh.

Disappoint uh.

2009-12-30T20:56:00.000+08:00

REALISED FOR THE FIRST TIME, THAT MY BLOG IS ROTTING! LOLOL!
Hahahaha! Okay, basic updates first ;D

Wednesday, 23 Dec - BAND, TIRING DAY!
Thursday, 24 Dec - GO AUNTIE'S HOUSE GET PRESENTS ;D
Friday, 25 Dec - GO ZEQUAN HOUSE PLAY! ;D
Saturday, 26 Dec - MEETING, THEN WORK. & GOT DIU LIAN ON BUS! ): LOL.
Sunday, 27 Dec - WORKKKKKKKK, WUAHAHA.
Monday, 28 Dec - BANDDDDDD.
Yesterday, 29 Dec - BANDDDDDDDD. HEARD SOME SHITSHIT, BUT OKAY LO ;D

Gahgahgah! Today got some shitshit again! Disappointing neh?
Yahhhhhhhh. That means, There will be troubleeeeeeeee.
Hahahah, COMEEEEEEEE, SHOOT MEEEEEEE. -.- LOL. Lalalala.
I don't give a damn, If its unfair, I SHALL NOT CARE.
I SHALL SAY BYEBYE & CARRY ON WITH MY NORMAL LIFE! ;D
BETTER NEH! No need so much thingy -.- HAHAHA! ;D

Ohhhhhhhhhhh! Do thinkkkkkk la people.
Harming/Hurting others around you, Is as if you're harming yourself.
Stupid right?! SO WHY DON'T BE CONSIDERATE TO EVERYONE?
REGARDLESSLY? & Don't purposely make them or hurt them lah.
BAD SIOL! IDOITCY! Hahahahahaha! ANNA SHALL BE NICE ;D
& ENDUREEEEEEEE WITH CRAPS & BLAHBLAHHH! ;D Shoot bah! Hahahaa!
But horrrrrrrr, Need give me time to be NICE ;D Hahahaha.
Cause i would have some immediate reactions to somethings de ;D

& SCHOOL IS STARTING!!!!!! SEC 3'2010, START STUDYINGGGGGGG!
Which includes me! Hahahaha! Next year shall be tedious & hideous ;D
Hahahaha! But, I know i will chionggggggg ;D God bless people! ;D

Chaos.

2009-12-22T23:15:00.001+08:00

Hmmm.. JJC concert is over, yupyup. The practises are okay (:
Just that the time very long & tiring, hahaha (:
But I screwed up yesterday.. Really screwed up :X
Sorrysorry.. Yah.. Didn't really focused yesteday..

Today, went school awhile but can't really practise..
Yup, Then went amk watch movie with ShiZhe, YiSheng,
ZeQuan & Liat. Avatar is nice! ;D Hahahaha.
Just that i wanted to pee halfway -.- Hahahaha! Diu lian!
Ate dinner with ShiZhe & Yisheng, & Homed (:

Realised, that everyone has thingys which other people said,
is true. Realised, that somethings can disappoint so much.
Don't understand why, it pains me, when people are like that.

Seems like there's alot of dramas around me lately.
Really, my thoughts is kinda in choassss, hahaha..
Doesn't seems to have things to believe in, doubts.
Cause if not, History would repeat again uh?

But I will try to.. To believe, that they are not like that..
Cause, I don't want to see that side? hahaha.. Yah (:

& If you understand me, Do get it.. But nah..
Since i think, my mind goes with my mood.. (: Hahaha.
Just, it breaks accordingly. If i meant to be serious,
yet not taken as... & When it just pain that much. Hah.

Band tomorrow, I hope things will be fine! ;D Hahahaha.

Here & There.

2009-12-17T23:28:00.001+08:00

Mondayyyyy- Nothing muchh, & Tone sucks like hell oh!
Tuesdayyy- Practiseee, Went ShiZhe's house watch 'Jian Gui 11' ('Watch Ghost 11).
Wednesdayyy- Practiseee, Went JianCheng's house(:

Today, Play awhile at school (: Had Milk tea from Koi Cafe! ;DD
Lol. Went JJC practiseeee, Hahahaha.. Quite okay?
Just that I can't really know the notes yet :X
But I like my tone today! When at JJC de la. Don't know why,
Something of mr lim & today's atmosphere makes my tone good (:

I don't get it, I don't get me at all.
I don't understand things, I don't understand myself.
I don't know why it pains, Maybe I'm just really crazy.
Things seems to be so complicated recently.
Feels like I'm in chaos.

I don't need a pillar.. I need to get back to how I was before,
I can't rely.. If not, How am I going to go on?
& If it breaks, Its gonna be hell shitty shit.. Hahaha..
Just, Things really changed alot uh..

I don't even understand or know,
How much importance things are to me.. I really don't know.
Maybe, i just doesn't want to realise them, to avoid..
Things that will not lasts, things that will break again..

Hmmmmmmmmmmm... I hope it won't happen again.. That night.
Its sure isn't nice, Totally (: Hahaha.

Complications

2009-12-13T01:16:00.001+08:00

为什么我会感觉到有点怕怕？:x

Ahhhh, Will be missing the first band practise,
Cause having ~~clarinet choir~~ combine practise at Jjc ):
Miss band alotalot oh! Hahahaa, but looking forward to the cobine (:

Some things came to mind today (Saturday),
Wonder why, some things are getting complicated recently :X
Don't really want to think about it, trying to get rid of the complication,
Hahaha.. But still it seems kind of weird.. :X

Things will be alright, right? (:
I shall try to believe that everything will be okay,
Regardlessly, If can.

Heheh!

2009-12-12T01:01:00.000+08:00

I LOVE CLARINET!!! ;DD

Heheheh! Playing for JJC de clarinet choir!
Even though its just 3 practises (Also quite good la),
I will play haohao! Heheheh. Cause my tone come back liao ;D
& Recently, I got a ideal tone in my mind liao (:

Heheheh. The ideal tone really very beautiful! ;D Ohmygod de can?
Hahaha! I shall improve! & Also, I need improve my stage tone too!
Then it won't sounds pehpeh when on stage :X Hahahaha!

Oh, & This holidays quite busy oh! Lots of outings!
Hahaha, Just like suddenly got lots of activities oh (:
But just hope, That no incidents happen la (: Yup..

Sec 3s books are crazy, Thick like hell, & Chim like hell.
Hahahaha.. Next year god blessbless oh (: Heeee.
&, I don't think I'm looking forward to sec 3 life (:

The tone, The playing, Makes me feel kind of calm uh (:
Like as if, everything will be alright (:
Hahaha.. It makes me don't wanna stop playing luh (:
Hahahaha.. Makes me be in peace (: & Also, Play out ;D

ooo

2009-12-10T01:05:00.000+08:00

I think, somethings over-crossed my boundary.. Hahaha.

YupYup. Must make it even sterner uh, Make it even better..
Hahahaha.. Just, Yah. Blahblahblah (:

Lol, Bye.

Ohohoh.

2009-12-07T02:00:00.000+08:00

Nahh, Anna is alright (: Hahahaha.
Just realised my previous post is subconciously wrote,
Heheheh. Or I should say, I forgot liao (: LOL.

Anyway, Work today (sunday that is) & saturday are okay!
Hahaha, Just awkward neh :X LOL. & Stupid baka Yisheng -.-
LOL, Heheheh. All is well~ (:

I miss band like hell~ Only when there is band,
My tone will be okay eh? Cause now it sounds bad ):
Lol. Just, I miss band lotslotslotslotslots! (:
& Also, Hope Mr Lim would allow.. (: Hah.

Okay, Byebye nowwwwww (:

I needa know myself better eh? Hah.. (:

wow.

2009-12-04T00:21:00.000+08:00

The facts are getting cruel nia (:
How many times, Have i said, That people will not get it,
Of how I am & Of what I needed to be.

Thats the point uh? To not let them get it.
But for others, Do they really judge them by their ways?
Understand what complexity is going on?

Okay, Somethings shoot. Hahaha, & Is straight 3 things -.-
Conversations at the same time. Hahahaha..

Seriously I don't want to get it,
But I'm seeing more of facts lately,
& I'm hating things more than usual lately.

Barrier, help me alright? (: I know you will.
I shall take a 'break' for tomorrow (:

lol.

2009-12-01T22:32:00.001+08:00

Can I believe, that everything will be alright?

Cause it just doesn't seems so.. Things that matters,
Seems to be having problems, Or maybe, its just me..
But, I don't like having wrongs in between things that matters..

Quite some people said I changed just a few days back,
I know. Hahaha.. Felt somethings this few days.. (:

Yesterday regent concert, On the way there was fun ;D
Especially the ball thingy that we drew on, hahaha!
& Today, Went jamie's house to celebrate her birthday (:
Yah.. Thanks Jamie alot eh? (:

Will be buying my Sec 3's books tomorrow..
I hope it won't be too heavy uh :X Yah (: Hahaha..
& Maybe I should reallyreally start studying lo (:

Are those the truths of whats beneath?
I never thought so uh.. Its getting worser.. Hahaha..

Heheheh.

2009-11-29T23:46:00.000+08:00

Hmm, I think I will post an overall bah? (:

Friday - Went Letitia house with people, Played mahjong (: Hahaha.
Saturda / Yesterday - Went rebond! Hahaha! (:
Today - Meeting, then went ZeQuan house play ;D Hmmm.. Yah (: Heheh.

Todayyyyyy, Suddenly thought of somethings oh, hahaha..
Just wonder why I'm different when with different groups of people,
Heheheh. Feels weird isn't it? Bahhh, After sometimes,
It will be okay lah, When I feel there's no need for walls, hahaha!

Tomorrow regent concert, Somethings will be luanluan oh, hahaha.
Ahhhhhhh, & My DJmax skills are getting okay liao! Hahaha!

Somethings, Are becoming a habbit eh? (: LOL.

Addiction III! (:

2009-11-26T19:46:00.001+08:00

Addiction III is over! (:
Yesterday, somehow did really hope that it won't end.
Really like band that way eh? (: Hahaha.
I screwed up the Seagate solo oh.. Played damn shitty..
Hahaha.. Gone just like that. Too bad for me..

Also, Saw ZeQuan & My parents there oh! (:
Hehehe, But is at the 2nd half then saw, & Got relaxed?
Hahaha, yah.. So my clarinet sandwich is alright siol!
FUNNNN ;D LOL. The 2nd half is definitely better (:

After concert, camp. Had some thinking through when they bathe~
Excos slept quite late & make the water balloons~ Hahaha.
All slept at 3am+ except for those who are playing, Lol!

Today camp had PT, Pumping are hideous today eh?
Had drills, & I LIKE DRILLS! LOL, As in, I like the strictness (:
Hahaha, If you get what I mean. Then games, Wet~
& Pack up, Stayed back awhile do QM thingys, & Homed, Sleep.

The clarinet choir, Seriously I can't make up my mind.
If I go, Will my embrochure be able to take it? Ahhhh.
Especially when now, I want focus on stabling my embrochure.
& The practise are tmr, 28th & 30th oh, At woodlands.
Hahaha.. & Really I don't like going to unfamiliar places (:

So... Yah.. & Bytheway, HEHEHE. Shall start from next week,
Friday to Sunday, 5pm to 11pm work oh! ;D Haahahaha.
& I shall start studying asap (: Next year toughtough.

If the way I am now, Is better for me, I shall not care uh?
To just forget the bads, Whatever happens, Just smile eh (:
Hahaha.. Even if negative comments will be, But,
They don't know what its like. To surpressed thingys,
Than to forget thingys. How heavy it feels eh? (:

& How much phobia there can be at one time. (: Heee.

I think tomorrow I will be aching like hell oh~ Hehehe.
Tiring & Fun days eh (: GoodGood times. LOL.

Time passes too fast.

2009-11-23T00:21:00.000+08:00

7th Month BigFam today (:

&, 2 More days to concert!
Excluding that now is 12.15am (:

Hahahaaa. Quite alot of things recently, Meetings~
For camp stuffs & Addiction 3. Hahaha, but fun oh?
Somehow hopes that this all won't end too soon :X

Today had meeting at 11am to 2pm (:
Then went YiSheng's house with ShiZhe, LOL!
Went ShiYun's house, sectionalssss (: Quite fun siol,
As Miss Chang, Litat, Faith & Elene got come too (:
Lol. Ya, Time passes really fast oh..

& ByTheWay, Hehehehe! Maybe found a job, Not confirmed uh?
Hahahaha! Ater concert neh, Shall study, practise & work hard.
Hahaha.. Thats my aim.. Cause will be tough next year uh?
I shall be mentally & physically prepared (: Hah.

Simple.

2009-11-20T23:38:00.001+08:00

Lets just empty my head ;D
Then, Nothing else will bother,
Then, Nothing will break my good walls ;D Hahaha.

Lets just say, I shall make my walls strongerrr,
Lets just say, My mind will be emptied,
Lets just say, I want to be introverted.

Then, Its better uh? (:
Nothing shall reach, Nothing shall hurts.
Hahaha (: Thats what I shall swear neh.

ADDICTION 3 ! ;D TICKETS?!
If interested, contact me asap! ;D Supporttt! (:

I hope Addicition will be alright (:
& I shall believe that my mouth will be able to tahan uh (:

hilarious.

2009-11-18T19:52:00.000+08:00

this really pains like hell uh,
like what i've predicted yesterday..

wonder why,
why does things just keep breaking upon me uh..
& it hurts like hell, seriously..

never thought,
that so much things will break,
at just one point,
& i laughed at myself being in pain.
how wow. hilarious..

hope my clarinet will be alright.. :X
need it to be alright.. hahaha..
shall pray.. (:

today bad oh..
& maybe, i will be making my blog private soon,
good uh?

tsk.

2009-11-16T19:50:00.002+08:00

9 more days to Addiction 3 !
I hope we'll be able to make it (:

Saturday's POP was alright (: My tone never screwed,
Hahaha, My clarinet loves me oh (: LOL.
& Yesterday, After meeting, Planned to watch 2012,
But the shows all full -.- So went ZeQuan house (:
Mahjong was fun! Especially night time, Everyone got high xD

Today, Band. Had tutor too. & Not sure why,
My embrochure keep shagging today, pain uh :X
Yah.. & Is unstable. lol. So played not quite well..

Have been super tired recently :X Hahaha..
Like everyday busy de oh (: Yah.. I like this,
Being busy, But i hope my health can also eh (: Heee..

Don't think that anyone do know, how I am.
You don't know me, so don't talk as if you know,
Just Too bad, You don't, & You won't.

& Just because of this incident,
My attitude would change of you uh?
THINK before you talk, I have my limits.

Sorry that my limits is that limited,
But I had enough of people who are being ridiculous,
& When they don't really know anything,
Regarding me. Never shall. (: Thats my wall neh.

Sorry, That I'm still angry over this,
You really did provoke my nerves with that sentence,
& You wronged my words, which i don't like so.
Anna, hate being wronged the most (:

Hehehe.. I decided oh, To just say out thingys,
Like when I'm angry, I will shoot people oh? (: LOL.
But, Not unreasonably (:
Then, It would be easier to remain better uh (:

Bad, Unlucky Day.

2009-11-13T22:34:00.000+08:00

Today super badbadbad & unlucky oh?
Friday 13th. & Again, bad things happened, hahaha.

Realised oh, after talking with some people,
That what happened today, when my reed broke,
Is somehow like life oh..

In order to express through emotions & to understand,
It will break.. Through happiness, it will break apart.
Hahaha.. That is why they are 'happiness' & 'sadness' uh? (:

If, in order for it not to break,
We won't know, or to be able to feel a thing..
Hahaha.. Numbed ourselves from breaking,
Yet numbed ourselves from feeling. (:

Tomorrow, If my tone is meant to screw me, Then screw upon uh..
Hahaha.. Cause my lips, will shag soon uh :X
Soooo, Hopes it be alright before tomorrow?
Then maybe tomorrow will be easier to not squeak & more air.. (:

Today's rehearsal is alright.. Just miss my old reed & tone ):
I love that reeddddddd! hahahaha.. Shall say byebye to it then.. (:
& Tomorrow, Please god bless.. hahaha.

I don't want to break again :X
It isn't nice, to have it burst out so much, suddenly.
The bursting feeling is not nice. (:

This things, when will they stop

2009-11-11T23:07:00.001+08:00

I need myself to be okay now, so that next time, i would be alright.
But somehow, the future still seems badbad, hahaha..
Hard to understand? Maybe i'm just putting tons of things on me now uh?
But somehow, they are important, to me..

So many thingys.. As in, bads among people, bads..
Somehow alot recently, this thingys.. hahaha..
When will all this stop uh? Like, its breaking apart siol..

I feel like, i'm making life too tough on myself,
& Also, life is making things feel like breaking down (:

Its hard to understand uh.. (:

It will never be.

2009-11-09T23:59:00.002+08:00

我有点怕明天。。
我能面对吗，明天会没事吗？
如果会象那第二次去的时候，
会有差别吗？会把事情弄得根坏吗？
会根痛吗？加上，我觉得，已经就痛了。。

自己的心里障碍，谁会比我自己还了解？
明天的痛，会很大吗？能称得下去吗？
我希望，如果可以，明天会和那第一次的时候一样。。

但，不可能的吧。。
差别，也应该会是根大的吧。。

Tomorrow will be alright, won't it?
Just hope.. Even if i know, that somehow it will stabs..

Words - Does it have to be such a matter of fact..

Does it matters? No uh.

2009-11-07T19:20:00.002+08:00

I think oh, today can be just the worse day ever uh?
Break me apart -.- Lol. Seems like my heart will break,
When it drops.. Like i break myself to pieces.. lol..

Today, i lost my concentration.. Played till quite badly.. :X
& My embrochure wrong oh.. Need change.. Yah..
My tone sucks like hell now, lol. My mind seems stucked,
Somehow stucked, & Cramped. hahaha.. but, not nice oh.

I wonder how siol, how i can still survive for long.
Just, i can't stop the thinking & wanting,
of making everything end now uh..
Something keeps pressing down,
but i don't know what it is, that is making me like this :X

But seriously oh, don't you think that life is stupid?
& Seriously, i always seems to be making mistakes :X ...

I'm speechless uh, that somethings are like that..
People, lol.. maybe, i think i should laugh at myself uh (:

ooo

2009-11-06T23:29:00.000+08:00

Alamak, today, I finally got to erase the thingys of the pasts,
Not erase, but somehow surpressed. But hor, its the future thingys now -.-

Feel that next year, I will die. hahaha.. Speaking of next year,
Makes me feel like dying ohhhhh :X Yah..
& Anyway, I'm planning for next time oh! ;D Maybe after concert,
i shall go find jobsssssssssss, Then can have tuition on MATHS ;D
Yahh.... But i hope i can cope.. Cause, next year seems like hell,
Seriously oh, Like a super freaking hell -.- shit.

Things, I don't know how or what to say oh..
Just, get things over fast bah..
Meaningless oh.

to me.

All this, are just things that are dragging the endings (:

2009-11-03T21:54:00.000+08:00

回忆，好像都只是存满了伤，
好像它会随时的刺出来，刺破了一个洞。。

好想好想那时，但我也知道，从前是从前，
不会回来。。只是好痛哦，现在与以前的差别，
或许也太大了吧。。让人无法接受。。

Mistakes? I don't know.. I just can't let the memories go..
Cause, that was the first time i did ever believed & trusted that much,
That was the first time i believed that i will be happy with them (:

But things don't last uh? Yupyup. Things Boom down..
& So, it seems like i always have a hard time dealing with the pasts' scars,
It seems to take a long, long, long time to be alright.. (:

Just somehow feel like posting this..
Cause i don't know that the past would suddenly burst into me like this,
Surpressed, but seems to be uncontrollable...

I'm alright won't i? (: Shall be..
But, my views changed uh. That everything will end, someday.
& Let it be soon, please.

Either or neither, its still the same.

2009-11-02T19:31:00.001+08:00

如果我说我想回避一下，行吗？

我好像有点心里障碍，一直阻止我，
一直让我感觉得到恐惧，也不知道为什么。。
越亲近，或越陌生，我都会回避。。

或许，我这样的反应，会比较好吧。
但，那个感觉有点陌生，好象我在抗拒这些亲近，
好象在拒绝这个世界一样。。

I like today's weather (: So nice & soothing, hahaha.
If only everyday can be like this, It would be somehow peaceful uh.. (:
& By the way, Lots of band practices coming up,
Monday to Saturday, Including night practise (:

Kinda looking forward to them, But it will be super tiring uh.. :X
But still, I hope the time will go slower..
Don't make this end too fast, I don't want future to be,
I don't even want to know about it.

I love mama. I love band people (:
I love BigFamily, I love clarinet, I love MrLim (:
I love people whom I love, I love people who are there (:

Just, I'll be alright (: A facade just for them (:
Regardlessly, of what happens.. Really..

Things that remains.

2009-11-02T00:34:00.001+08:00

Maybe, its better this way uh.. (:
That things is much easier to go on,
Much easier to live by, When i erase them off..
I know, That its surpressed & not erased,
But, It would be better for me & others to smile bah (:

Hahaha.. I keep wondering why,
Why do I keep holding on to things, That left so abruptly..
Its the memories uh? That I'm unable to part with..
That keep coming up on me (: Hahaha..

I shall be alright..
In anyway, the endings will find their way here..
I know, that all these, would end one day.. (:

Today, Went mall library & Watched 'My girlfriend is an agent' at AMK.
Hahaha. & That YiSheng shall be killed one day, ONE DAY! (:
Lol. Blahblahhh~ & I don't feel like posting much liao oh,
So late liao, hahaha. Shall be going school early tomorrow (:

& Seriously, I hope Addiction ||| will be alright (:
Shall practise hardhard, reallyreally.
Then, I shall focus on my studies.. God bless (:

hahahaha.

2009-10-30T21:14:00.000+08:00

'Emotional memories involving fear are permanently engrained in the brain.
They can be suppressed but never erased.'
- Francis Crick.

I dreamt about a english song which I do not know, & A few people I know,
Last night (: The storyline, which I think I somehow know, is kinda heartaching..
Hahaha.. As in, something sadsad lah if that happens (: Lol.. Weird.

Finally today good mood ohhhhhh (: Rare case, hahaha..
But still, Somethings are too 'bambam'.. Too shown to accept..
& Today band, Played ChimChim. Quite scary at first oh, BUTTTTT,
CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WE PLAYED TOGETHER! & I can play the thingys liao ;D
HAHAHA! So damn happy lah, I can play the swing~ haohao liao ;D

& After that, Went point ate with Eileen they all, Started getting high.
LOL. Hahahaha! Then went PingPong & Badminton~ FUNFUN ;D
I not so lousy looooooooooh ;D Hahaha. Played like mad somehow :X (:

Sunday going out, but not planned yet, hahaha..
Bandbandband is gonna be funnnn (: Night practises! Hahaha.

Somehow, I shall let it be masked (:
Just let it be this way now, Let it be the me now..
Just suppress it till things are over,
Just, it doesn't matters... Don't want it to matters to anyone.
Let it be that that thing just shoots me, & No one else involved (:

Even if it can't be erased, somehow I'm trying to forget it & point of times.
Especially when I'm not alone, Especially when I should not show.
It somehow haunts uh (: Hahaha... Put it away for awhile..

Make time go slower please, Cause, I know someday this all will end..

:X

2009-10-27T20:57:00.005+08:00

Yesterday, Had section outing at sentosa (: Ahmad got go oh, Hahaha..
Went to palawan beach, Played in the water for a few hours (:
HotHot de oh, LOL.. Yahh.. Then 'somehow' bathe & Have 'picnic' :X
& Went to a high high place? Hahaha.. Through a bridge,
The scenery there is damn nice oh.. Lazy put pictures :X

After that went to take the Luge & Skyrider.
The skyrider is OMG de, hahaha.. Luge is fun (: Yahh..

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Things were different today.. Things stabs today..
Somehow can feel it coming, & Indeed, It did.. :X

The things, stabs.. Painfully. Tried to control,
But it bursted out of me, & The feeling sucks..
Oh fuck can? Showing the pain, Is the stupidest things I did..

& I never know, That when those individual things are combined,
Are fixed together as a problem, It shoots & stabs so muchmuch..
Which all concerns me.. Which I do not know how to face...
&, Things that would make me worse if I face it -.- What shit...

Dead end.

Sorry.

Deepened.. This feeling, would just get worser uh?
Lies & Mistrust, How stupid am i.. Just leave me alone.
I would rather be alone, Than to face all this stupidties again..

ohh..

2009-10-23T20:13:00.001+08:00

Had been trying to build up a even thicker wall recently..
Suddenly feels that, being alone is really a damn good thing uh..
Had been wanting to be alone, away from thingys..
Way too much thingy, making me feel breathless, making me feel like hell.
& No matter how i try to hide 'thingys', its always kanna expose out..
Even just by little comments uh? I don't like this exposure of the thingys,
somehow seems like people can just use it to bang me.. hahaha..

And.. Somehow, for me, its just seems the world is just alone lah,
Cause somehow, anna always has a wrong judgement of people..
How stupid... & If i do it again, it will be as if i'm killing myself (:

I hate people, Who fake out persoalities of who they are NOT..
They masked their real self for all those self-gain purposes..
I shall say I'm stupid, For not see-ing it..
So, Lets say that I will shut everyone out uh? (:
Then those people can just go away luh -.- I won't & can't take it.. (:

I won't forgive anyone, including myself. There's no return,
No point.. So just leave me alone , i don't wanna care.

The wall, maybe its better bah.. maybe not..
But, i'm really not looking forward to anything oh.. hahaha..

1st option, PLEASE!

2009-10-22T21:37:00.003+08:00

From what my first choice for the combinations is,
Shall needa study freakingfreaking hard next year.. :X
Which I shall swear I would (: Since I somehow got a plan to make me do so..
Hahaha.. To vent everything on studies & make my brain full (:
Lol, Kinda works anyway.. Hahaha..

I won't be taking any engineering courses next time ohh..
From what my first choice, WHICH IS THE COMBINATIONS I WANTT!
Lol. Trying out Amaths.... Shall freaking diedie next year -.- Hahaha...
Maybe try askask mama let me have tuition, But not probably not..

My second choice shall need to give up Biology )))): ... If not,
Won't be able to cope uh.. Triple maths again -.- Argh..
But taking physics for nothing eh? -.- Lol..
The 3rd choice, that choice is triple science oh... But....
But I really want first option! PLEASEEEEE! Will studystudy..

Lol, I'm totally posting for the combinations -.-
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE 1ST OPTION! & Btw, I want history (:
Hahaha... That means, Next year, I will spend alot of time studying!
Shall spend less than 4 hours on computer! Hahaha..
But really lah, Next year, Will be freaking tough... ):

I hope, things will survive... Seriously..
&, I shall need to depend on myself for next year bah...
Study & practise all the way.. Shall not play too much (:
Hahaha... A 'super' routine -.- Lol..

~~

2009-10-21T18:31:00.001+08:00

Feels like, I'm breaking apart... Part by part, part by part..
Ripping the hell out of me -.- What freak.. Just hate this life luh..

Yah, Like I've ever wanted this, Like I've ever requested to live.

The combinations suck big time -.- Ughhh... Pure sciences -.-
& Either triple maths or double -.- If don't want Amaths,
Must take physics. If don't want physics, must take Amaths -.-
&, Pure will takes up alot of band time uh.... How.

Especially when we've already know, That its bound to collapse..

& I'm sorry, in adavance...

I'm sick & tired of all this,
Just stop this damn poom-poom please.
If you get what I mean...

blah.

2009-10-20T17:37:00.001+08:00

I know, it would turn out this way somehow..
That this would be the conclusion again & again..
A conclusion that isn't one..

Choices suck doesn't it. Not knowing what is really true,
What is really false.. Choosing between right & wrong,
Where there isn't one..

我不想懂，以后会是这么样，以后会有多难。。
但，总觉得，将来已变得在现在了。。

Stop reminding me of last time please, thanks.. (:

i.

2009-10-19T20:11:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow, maybe or maybe not, that somethings will happen.. (:
Good or bad, it doesn't matters.. Just need to learn to..
Of what I'm stuck recently, & What I really need to learn..
Maybe it would be bad, maybe it would be good,
But somehow, i'm glad, if it can be rewind so..

That is to be your choice.. We'll let you be.. (:
But please.. Do no more further that harms.. thanks, really alot..

Yesterday, Apologies somehow :X Yahhh.. hahaha..
Anyway, Tomorrow band! (: Finally! Hahaha.. ;DD
Will be going school earlier to warm up somehow.. (; 7.30am..
Hahaha.. &.. I think tomorrow will be quite different (:

Mentally prepare.. For whats that scarred.. (:
I, will be alright uh.. (:

...

2009-10-16T19:02:00.000+08:00

Helloooooooo.. Shall make today's post not long, Damn tired...
Chionged my art last night, From 10pm till 12.30am -.-
& Insomnia. Hahaha.. & Today's art is okay, But became damn tired -.-

Stayed back practise.. Practise like hell, Somehow..
My tone came back! (: But my tonguing still deproved.. Ahh..
My clarinet sandwich got problem oh.. Played until hands ache -.-
So stupid.. My embrochure got weaker too.. Hao lei lei..

Somehow glad that tomorrow no band & no need go out.. (:
If not diedie liao -.- Don't know why I'm so tired, hahaha..
Tired = Grumpy & Sian. LOL (: Hahaha.. Blahblah... Bye.

I realised, Its always like this..
Not being close to anyone, Is repeats (:

oh.

2009-10-13T23:08:00.001+08:00

Changed my blog songs (: Added a few.. Hahaha, Nice de oh (:
& By the way, Tonight de clouds seems weird :X They seems so Big & Near,
& So white like how the day time's clouds were? Yahh..

Anyway, Today's Maths Paper 2 is okay, But lost some marks.. Lol.
But hope it can at least pass lah, Then overall will be average fail only :X
Literature paper is okay.. Wrote 4 pages, Hahaha (:

Stayed back again today, Studied Science & Did ABIT of art, LOL.
Eileen came too! ;D I <3 Eileen ! Hahaha.. Blahblah..
Tomorrow Science, Managed to memorise thingys ;D Hehe..
But hope that I won't forget luh.. & I needa really do my Art soon -.-

Silence, The choice of showing..
Or somehow, We can say that its 'escaping'..
Sealed, That makes life seems silent,
That seperates us from reality (:

I don't know what to say,
I don't know how to describe..
Stuck at whats there, Of whats regretted..
Maybe, Just give me alittle more time,
To really accept that it did end,
That it did change.. Irreversible.

hah.

2009-10-10T18:44:00.001+08:00

Life is meaningless, Just that people keep making incidents up,
so that it seems like lessons. Its just the same uh..

这个滋味，好熟。不管这么样，愧疚于悲哀都会在，
不能否认的事实，不能逃避的影印。。

懂了或明白了，也或许是件坏是。 (:

I hope exams over soon.. Don't like the feeling of studying,
When my head just feels like booming.
Hahaha. I want band soon (: At least its more of a expressive way (:

And also, Shall start practising real hard ;D Lost my tone siol..
Shall get it back before band resumes (: Hehe, Byebye!

(:

2009-10-09T20:55:00.001+08:00

'History is neither made nor written without love or hate.'
- Theodor mommsen.

Some bad, Some good. Moves forward, But they remains intact..
Pasts. Time pass, No one knows that its still there..
(Writting in a casual manner ;D Understand if you can..)

I'M DEAD SHIT ): Cut my hair :X LOL. & ~~~~~~~ BAM. Unglam -.-
Hahaha! Shall find some ways to SAVE it (: -.- Lol.
& ByTheWay, Today at Mall's Library, Found interesting things (:

Philosophies & Blahblah~ Hehe. & Also, The book I'm still holding now.
Hahaha. Guilt's manipulation, Lots of bingos.. (: Yahhh.
Maths Paper 1 & Geography on Monday :X Yahh...
Bet that this time, My SA2 results will be shitty.. :X

Silence may be a good thing uh (:
At least to be in controlled,
At least to be in peace from insanity.

(:

2009-10-07T22:33:00.002+08:00

我不明白，我是这么样的，
我倒底在想什么，为什么会感到那样。
世界好乱，好痛，好复杂，好悲哀。。
他们可以让我感到安心，却内疚？
我都不明白和人之间的感受了，或许，我也不想懂或了解了。。

许多次的情景，许多次的无耐，
会再来多少次？
或许这几次是我选折的，
但，我不知道，世界会变得这么样。。

But I will still try, to leave the pasts and the future to be,
To forget whats scarred, And remember whats warm-ness (:

Nothing much this few days, Quite boring :X Lol.
& My sore throat & flu is finally getting better (: Heee.
But maybe can 'sort of' use it as a excuse of not doing PE (:
Since its gym -.- & Confirm everyone want use de. Hahaha.
& I got lots of lessons to sleep in tomorrow! ;DD Hohoho.

& Tomorrow morning, I want check something :O Some ass. Hahaha.
Ohhhh, Anyone want buy ticketssss? BAND CONCERT ;D 25th November!
Tell me if want (: Hahaha.. Byebye.

I'm not even sure of how I am ; This insanity.

quizquiz.

2009-10-05T22:06:00.000+08:00

Did some quizes (: Hahaha.. Quite accurate bah? (:

The Real You

1. You are a very serious person. You tend to be quiet and well behaved, and you don't have a great deal of self-confidence. You prefer to be alone rather than with friends and that could make you a little less interesting to certain types of guys. You are very attractive in an individual kind of way, and this means it can take people a little while to get to like you.

2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.

3. You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.

4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?

5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

Pick One

Your future friend: People with mature and strong character attract you. Your close friends are usually a tigress or a tomboy.

Your travel plan: In the future, you will often take overseas trips especially to modernized countries. You will get to explore Europe and North Asia like you always wanted.

Your future financial status: You are very good at saving and sometimes you are even stingy. The reason you want your teeth to grow longer is because when you can't eat, you can save even more on food. Once your money is deposited in the bank, there's no way that you will withdraw it out just to spend on luxuries.

The last period of your life: You can't stand being a lonely old lady so you will spend the last days of you life being a kind loving grandparent so that the kids will love to have you around.

Emotion Test

Your emotional controlled rate: 37%

You know how to let your emotions show but you still find it difficult to do so as often as you should. You should be prepared to let your emotions out more often. When you feel sad let yourself cry, when you feel angry, let your anger show and when you feel happy allow a smile to cross your face.

Allowing your emotions out in this way will do wonders to your physical and mental health.

):

2009-10-05T20:30:00.002+08:00

Flu & Sore throat sucks -.- Used up lots of tissue papers today :X
Hahaha. Luckily I'm still able to focus for my papers (: Hoho.
But just hope that fever won't come :X Papers coming up oh...
& I'm freaking lazy to do art -.- Ahhhhhhhhh, Sian. Hahaha.

I want band, I want band. & Apologies, Never practised for 2 days :X
My tone gonna suck like hell! ): ....

Today was tiring, Super.. Hahahaha. & Sleeping after the papers,
Is better than last night's sleep oh (: Yup...
& Band tee soonnnnnnnnn! ;D Hahaha..

& For yesterday, Lan-ed, Went AMK, Ate & Watch movie (:
Forgot the movie title :X Hahaha.. & The Fried Chicken noodle damn nice!
But it made my sore throat worser -.- Lol. (:

So, I'm going to let things be this way..
Just whatever & whatever.
Not caring about the pasts or future,
Just knowing that its 'Now'.
Everything will end & leave,
So there's just no difference in things uh..

lalala~

2009-10-04T00:37:00.000+08:00

Feel like stopping this posts ohh :X
Either good or bad de.. Hahaha.
Hard to be 'Enlightened' (:

I hope I can do well for SA2 (: Don't know what for? Hahaha.
& My tone sucks now, Not sure why.. ):
Sore throat today, Hope tomorrow will be alright (:

Tomorrow, Hope it will be good (: & Studyyyyyyy! Hahaha.
& Maths really really sucks -.- Gives me headaches, Crazy de oh!
Hahahaha.. & I think I would fail bah.. :X Bahhh...

Whatever. Break again jiu break bah (: Don't careeeeee (: Hoho.

x

2009-10-01T21:18:00.001+08:00

Its breaking apart, But, Still holding on..
Insanity, Stupidity ; Whats the point (:
Those emotions, Doesn't matters anymore.. (:
Those me, Don't care anymore (:
This inner situation, I don't like it..

I can feel, That its not going good. It throbs..
Could feel the pieces, But forcing it on..
I know its unnecessary, But, Its just that..

But yet, Nothing can be done.. Whats done, Is done..
On to my Private blogblog bah (: Hahaha..

Today, One of my Chinese Composition, Kanna chosen ;D
But, Unfortunately, It seems that the compo is about ~.
The title - "A misunderstanding, That sacrifices something.."
Hahaha.. Will be published on a chinese newspaper (:
But don't know which one -.- Hahaha... But, Its my thoughts..
Not for others to know -.- Lol.. Whatever.

Life is getting tiring.. Had been having 'heavy' nights recently,
Feel as if something is suppressing me. Hahaha..
& I forgot what my last night's dream is.. Prophecy. (:

Anna, Is so going to fail D&T & Maths this year.. Shit ass.

ooo..

2009-09-30T22:21:00.001+08:00

Its breaking apart, I know. When more things came by,
We are bound to drift apart uh? & It did.. Hahaha..
Things are different, Maybe good, Maybe bad..
Just, Letting go of what you cherished most, Is hard. (:

Had been reading a book recently, Borrowed from Library.
Its about life~ (: About how which things affects people,
Or how we think & What we do. So many things that life contains,
Good & Bad. For example, "Hope", A trick word designed to get us
to give up our decision. If we hope for something,
We are not deciding for something? (: As if, It would be just a imagination.

Still got alot more to read on.. Hmm.. But needa slowly adapt (:
Hahaha.. Focusing on the 'Fears', 'Headache' & 'Doubt' parts first..
Kinda need them though. Hahah.. If can, I feel like buying this book -.-
If can find, Hahaha.. "Hidden Language Codes" by R. Neville Johnston. (:

Just conceals & conceals & conceals.. (:
Nevermind.
Don't needa understand anyway..

Yup.

2009-09-29T22:55:00.001+08:00

Had a talk about Subject Combinations. Wtf, All Pure Sciences -.-
Wth, But luckily no need Amaths (: Which, I don't think I will get.. Hahaha.
But, My biggest worry is Physics -.- Got all wrong for those questions.

Maybe planning to take Pure Bio, Combine Chem&Phy,
POA, & Geo? History seems hard :X Especially when its PURE now -.-
The school sucks. Forcing us with more stress,
They don't even consider our limits sia -.- Stupid.

I hope band resumes soon... I hate all this, Studies,
Exams & Blahblah. I can't really play now already :X
& I DON'T WANT D&T! I want pon.. -.- Hahaha.. Sucks.

I don't wanna care about anything.. Regardless of me or them.
Even if I do, It stings.. Not sure why. Like as if,
I'm endangering myself so.. Hahaha.. & Recently,
I want to conceal up more.. Too much stingings..
Too many things that I don't wanna know or needa know.

Life sucks like hell man. When will all this ever stops?
Maybe, Bad Lucks will just keep coming, Like how the quiz said?
& Maybe, Life is just this way ;

No matter how much I work on something, It will be The End ;
No matter of how long I live or Learn, It will be The End ;
No matter of how much it pains, It will be The End ;
No matter of who I really yearns, It will be The End...
So, If can, I would like The Ends to be now (:

But, Needa wait.. Scars that will deepen uh? (: Okay.

ooo.. (:

2009-09-26T00:58:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday YiSheng! ;D
Although 25th Sept over liao, Hahaha (: & Hope you like the LONG letter eh? LOL.

Firstly, I shall apologise, For afternoon & Evening (:
Things just came out, Shall explain later (: Hahaha..
Bought cake for YiSheng & SingSing~ (: Then went East Coast (:
Cycled all that, & Kept walking~~ Lol. Then kept tripping?
Pathways -.- Hahaha. & Hope Letitia okay bah (:

Then went to watch night movie with YiSheng, Eileen,
TingXian & My sis (: G-Force 3D, Hahaha. Before that,
Went arcade (: The movie, 'Heart Attack' de uh, Hahaha.
& Homed at 11pm++ (: But still, It seems early.. Lol.

Pasts came up to me. Maybe its my fault at the start,
For thinking that, 'Maybe the feeling will still somehow be there'.
&, I should have known, It won't be.. How much difference..
I should have known.. Whats the point for hoping..?
But still I did, Cause ~ will confirm be on my side, Hahaha.

& Just because of that, Everything bammed into me :X
Cause afterall, -That-, Is what impacts the most uh?
Missing the pasts, Can be a bad thing uh.. Stucked.
The Present, & The Future seems to be looking bad.. Hahaha.

But somehow, All will end (: So... Too bad. Hahaha.

Parents not home till Monday night :X Hahaha.. Okay, Bye.

****.

2009-09-24T18:28:00.000+08:00

Today quite a few things happened, Mostly bad.

I should say, That you don't even understand at all.
From how you said all those, I really don't want to talk to you.
You don't even care. We did try understanding,
But when its already plan till this state,
& You expect us to give in to you? We got our limits.

& You know what things shouldn't be shooted out,
Wow, Great, You did. & Too bad,
What I had been suppressing myself to say, Came out.
But still, There's alot more.
Lets stay a distance away from now, Cause, I had enough.

& Btw, Next time, I don't want plan any thingy again (:
It suck, To be the planner while people just give excuses..
& I think, I know why he had left. Yup.

Bought earpiece liao! ;D Hahaha.. Days without earpiece is shit.
Hope tomorrow will be a good one, Even though I somehow knew it won't.

Lost my temper today, Seriously. Got really f*ck up.
Hahaha.. Though I did hope ~ had not left, ~ will side with me..
This world is getting harder to live in. Really freak up with life.

Sooner or later, I won't be able to tolerate anymore. Too much uh,
Seriously. Go away for now, I don't wanna care about anything for now.

tsk.

2009-09-22T20:12:00.000+08:00

Seriously, B*tch this life. Hahaha..

When somehow, Finally got over whats gonna happen next time,
It seems to appear right in front.
What we are dreading, What we don't want to..

How painpain it is, If you are the one who is gonna face these,
& No matter how hard you try, It will never be..

CHEER UP SHIZHE! & Sean too (: Jiayou, Alright? (:
So many things happened.. Hao tongtong.. Hahaha..
Just hope that Friday will be a good one.. (: Seriously.

I don't know why. Today, It just seems the pasts is coming back..
I saw you. We treat each other like strangers, But we looked back.
What happened in band, Is like a replay of what had happened before..
What I had finally manage to put it down, Came up, & Kicked me hard.

What I want to do for them, Yet, I know I will be forcing myself..
To face up things, That is exactly what I don't want to the most..
When I did really want to try opening up myself to others,
It almost immediately snaps. Immediately.

How hillarious, That life is going against me.
What I did finally managed to let go, Slam me down hard next.
Its gonna be like this uh? Waiting for the bads, & 'The Ends'.

ooooo

2009-09-20T22:55:00.000+08:00

Did a quiz from Eileen's blog (: Hahaha. Another thing that is ZhunZhun.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Hahaha, The moods changing thing is zhun (: Lol.
Anyway. Today, Went ShiZhe house (: Yahhhh~ LOL. Still messmess eh?
Hahaha. But Thanks ShiZhe (: Then went back, Ate & Go Hg Green.
Lan. Hahaa, L4D died alot xD Then went to ZeQuan's house (:
ThankYou ZeQuan uh (: Yahhhh~ Watch Ghost movie, Hahahaha.

& I started highing at night :X LOL. Somethings reminded me of last time,
When I was a child. Hahaha. & Also~~~~~~ -That-. Yah (: Ate & Went home.

I would still know that I will lose it all,
Someday, Sometime.
Not knowing when, Not knowing how.
Even though I'm cherishing everything now,
Whats left at the end, Will just be pain (:

Its always there, Those negatives to haunt you,
Each moments & Time :X

at least.

2009-09-18T23:44:00.001+08:00

Mahler's Symphony No.2, Played by SSO today (: They are great lah, Hah..
&, SorrySorry to TingXian & Wayne :X SorrySorry :X
& Had a 'weird' time going there, Lol. (:

When things went bad, When things goes wrong,
At least, this is what I have. What I saw, What I heard,
What I wanna learn to do so.. A form of expressions uh? (:
To be a form of letting go ; With tight locks each time,
That isn't nice to be. How much more? Who knows.

Don't know how, Not sure how.
Just, The changes are already there,
Irreversible..

TiredTired. Can feel that my head is bursting, Haha..
Tomorrow staying back, & Mall-ing. So, Byebye.

so, its it.

2009-09-17T21:07:00.000+08:00

Chocolates make people happier, Somehow agree! (:
But after awhile, We still needa rely on our own (: Lol.

I realised, Regarding last time, -It- changes people.
How it changed you, & Now, How its gonna change me.
I don't know how to prevent it, As its part of people uh?

All that have happened, Has happened.
Can't do anything to erase them away,
Might as well prevent the changes of myself,
& To however I change to, Do understand,
That you do not really know me at all (:

Its something, Not to be said (: Hahaha..

& Sunday, Lan again. & Shall plan for next Friday (:

x

2009-09-15T20:08:00.003+08:00

Yeah, This sucks totally.
Regarding me, Everything about me & This ass life.

Everything was a mistake, Time after time.
Never had anything right, Regrets & Guilts.

I wonder whats wrong with me, After I became 'this'.
Each time, The guilts just get worser,
Each time, I just hate myself & everything more & more.

Things doesn't matters uh? Since 'The End' will come by.
Good or Bad, Its just that.. But, It just shoots..
No, I should say, The longer this is, The more I shoot myself.

I shall apologise, For the every reasons I had been alive,
To people.. For every mistakes I make, For every wrongs I did..
If only at the start, I never understood anything.

I would rather be a fool that don't know or understand anything,
Than being this.. All the guilts, Just keep coming..

Wrongs, Wrongs, Wrongs, Wrongs, Wrongs & Wrongs.
Never will be right.. I'm such a sucker ass, Seriously. F*ck.

Things keep locking in, Tighter & Tighter each time..
Whats lock between, Shall be somethings that I have learned,
Yet shouldn't be .

For today, I finally realised, That I don't wanna say anymore (:
Regardless good or bad, Just make everything end now.
Every actions is a mistakes, No point for anything uh.

Bullshit crap of mine. Each time.
For every word I said, I shall apologise.
Which I don't know why, & This sucks.
I don't understand why I hate myself so much now -.-
PastsPasts, How stupid.. Things are set for a difference uh?
Never will there be a similarity, Between the present & pasts.

Sorry for the negative thingys.
Blahblah. Byebye for sometime. (:

bam.

2009-09-13T22:37:00.000+08:00

Lan today, Then went ZeQuan's house with Eileen, ShengYong & My sis.
Watched 'Shutter', Quite sian :X LOL. Then went home quite late.. Yah.

So not looking forward to tomorrow.. :X Seriously.
Something shall/will happen, Right? Lol..

I'm not me anymoreeeeeee.. That feeling, Is overwhelming.
Too muchhh. Too much of reality facts within.. Argh.
Make me don't understand anything please, Make me forget everything..

Knowing/Understanding things that happened, Or shall happen next time,
Is not good.. Fears that would overcome you.

So, Don't understand things.. :X Appreciate your simple-ness (:

bethere, can't it.

2009-09-12T22:03:00.001+08:00

I don't understand, How people can naturally express out things..
Maybe its me who's not being the correct way uh..
Is it so easy, To just let people know how we feels inside?
Its not easy ain't it? When at the same time, We're considering the others..

& Also, While you did mistrust people alot, In the pasts..
It inflicts uh.. Lessons, That people are untrustable? That way..

Created new private blogblog (: Kinda good in someway.. Hah.
Went school today, Practise & Play? Lol. Then went mall,
Meet up with Zequan. 4 of us go walkwalk, But quite sian :X Haha.

Tomorrow lan, Anyone can go? PleasePlease goooo. Yah.. (: Byebye.

Is it better, For us to keep avoiding? :X Not sure why..
Somehow, Its something that we're in common of uh? Lol..

whatshit.

2009-09-11T19:16:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night is hell :X Can't sleep, Super duper tired, & Feel like shit.
LOL. & In the end, Wake up late today! :X Alarm never ringggg!
But luckily never late for band lah ;D & My eye swollen -.- LOL.

PT ;DD Although, Damn tiring lah. Hahaha. Sectionals, Tired (: Hah..
Had combine, Coldcold. Hahaha.. Quite alot to do uh.. Lol.
After band, Meeting.. Yah. Wonder if the band will be able to survive,
After the Sec 3s step down.. :X Bet that it won't. Lol..

Went hougang mall for awhile, & Fall down -.- LOL.
Stupid pathway.. Hah. & Tomorrow, Maybe will be going school..
Since the classrooms are the best place for me to practise (:

Everything will just be a 'The End'.. Everyone knows.
No point for whatever is to be, Ain't it?
Somehow, To me, The pasts & The future sucks (: Unequivocally.

Annaaaa, Don't know how or what to say anymore.. :X Byebye.

lol

2009-09-10T19:28:00.000+08:00

SeeMiang; Pure science is to learn all the 3 sciences thoroughly :X LOL.
Jenson; LOL. Yup, Hi5! ;D Murderer ohhh (:
ZeQuan; LOL. Siao lang keng ;D
ZhengJie; Hello! (:
Eileen; Hahaha! Wo men hao pei oh! xD

Not looking forward siol :X Homeworks all not done, & I don't want school.
Anyway, Sunday, Who's free? Anyoneee. Me & Eileen going lan play ;D
Yahhhh.. Tell me asap please (: Thanksthanks.
Band tomorrow! Definitely looking forward to it ;D Haha!

I don't like this. I don't like next time. I don't like future.
Never want one, Never decide to have one (:

boomboom! (:

2009-09-08T22:00:00.002+08:00

Japanese Graffiti is soooooooooooooooo nice!!! LOL ;D
The saxaphone solo part, The (WISH) part, SUPERB NICE! ;DD LOL.
Heheheheeee, But the rythyms for the front part, Quite hard :X

I like today's band! Hahaha! Except that I got ulcer on my tongue -.-
Can't tongue properly! LOL, So irritating de siol :X Hah.
Hope my ulcer goes away before tomorrow! :X Okayyy, Byebye (:

Maybe, I would just runaway from things mentally (:
Its much more easier for me to live by this way (:
When I chose to not face it, I tend to not remember about the pasts uh?
Then would be able to move on more easily, & Forget (:

But still, I'm waiting.. While forgetting. (:
Don't misjudged things please. You know how it is (:

x

2009-09-07T19:09:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, Don't you wish to shut yourself's down?
So much noise, So much things that we won't understand,
& Even if we did, It would also be bad..

Forcing ourselves with things, Not knowing good or bad..
I don't see a point, Where any choices would be good.

MUST sleep early today! Hah. Damn tired.. :X Lol, Byebye (:

2nd post (:

2009-09-05T22:37:00.000+08:00

“When a person’s limit is broken, either she breaks down or she breaks others”.
- So, be reasonable please. You didn't even try to understand..

"Anger begins with folly, & Ends with regret".
- This oneeeeeeeeeee, I LIKE! ;D Hahahaha! Rationality (:

I'M LAZY TO DO HOMEWORKS! :X Seriously, Tons of them.. :X
& I got sunburn -.- Hahaha! BIG contrast, Redred de. LOL.
ByTheWay, Today, Even though I drank BubbleTea, I can sleep liao! Haha!

BigFam Outing soon (: Section Outing (: Looking forward uh? (:

Byebye.

Must face things with rationality uh? (: To make better choices..

ballball (:

2009-09-05T17:07:00.001+08:00

I think I got abitbit heatstroke :X Hahaha! Head bamminggg~~ LOL.
Today's Captain's Ball is fun ;D Hahaha! Super funny lah :X
& I think I look like a zombie after the game, LOL (:

Had been sorta weird today :X Not sure why.. Blahblah. (:
Sectionals time was tiring :X Suddenly can't tongue haohao ):
FocusFocus eh? (: & Hope ShiZhe to be okay? (: Hah..

Things are different uh.. I can't find the real laughs anymore :X I don't like the fakes..

Can I ask, Are you okay, To you? People seems kinda sad nowadays eh? :X

.

2009-09-04T19:58:00.000+08:00

People just don't care uh? Can't they understand how hard it is?

Bad Bad Day. Felt like everything was sorta ruined.
They don't give a damn to punctuality, & I screwed up my parts :X
Something's weighing me down.. Which I don't know what & why..

I needa learn to cope.. So many things to do, So little time..
Tiring. Hah (: Life's like that uh? Yah.

I feel speechless, To everything... Byebye.

:X

2009-09-03T20:15:00.000+08:00

How do you want us to be? When both ways are neither good..
To make ourselves worse, Or to chose to forget? What do you want?
Just wanting you to understanding for the sake of this friendship,
Is it that hard? Did you even know how it feels like,
To be in this position? I guess you don't..

Waiting, Yet, You made us worse.. The pasts, Can be a killer uh?

Lots of homeworks -.- Wth.. Blahh. PE today is fun (: Hahaha.
Netball. LOL. Stayed back after school (: Heart Attack ;D Lol.
Band tomorrow, Yah.. It will be okay, Right? ...

Its pushing me down.. All the way. Can't unwind..

bam.

2009-09-02T21:20:00.000+08:00

Today's 2 hour self-practise is kinda good (: Hah..
& Today seems kinda weird :X So many people not around..

Had fun when playing Heart Attack with YiSheng they all (:
It kinda remind me of last time uh? (: But different though..

Holidays are coming, EOY is coming.. Lazy study luh.. :X & Stupid school..
How expect me to take AMaths next year? Fail sia -.- & I miss Eileen they all ):

Gonna stay back tomorrow with Eileen! ;D If got chance,
Maybe ask moremore people go playground play.. Hah... (:

I hold on too much, To the pasts. Damn.. I don't know why,
This distancing feeling, Seems to overcome me today :X Alot..

But somehow, When they are there, They made it better eh? (:

Hohoho!

2009-08-31T12:56:00.002+08:00

Today's DANCE is Fun!!! ;D Hahaha! Don't know why I keep laughing, LOL.
But its like super funny lah xD & Today, Awwwww. My hair -.- Hahahaha!

I miss Eileennnnnnn! ): So long never see her liao! Awwww.. D;
& Also, Jenson AHPEH cheer up ! ;D LOL. Got banddddd zai (:

ImissBandbandband! Hahaha.. Hope Addicion III don't come too soon,
If not, Fun & Happy thingys are gonna be gone soon ):
If you get what I mean... Make time go slower now, Please.

Okay, Byebye (: Hahahaha, & BYTHEWAY, Chou shi yi zhong mei de uh ;D

Be there, Please (: You are the reason, That I understood now ;D

(:

2009-08-29T20:10:00.002+08:00

I should be glad (: That things did happened, That I still believed (:
You will be back to how you were once, right? (:

& Also, With (: around, Hah. Its somehow obvious uh? (:
I should be glad at whats happened (: & I hope this positive will lasts :X

Had band today (: Quite okay~ Hah. Miss Chang came! ;D
& Again, She helped me (: Hope she could be our tutor forever :X
Hah. & No band till next Friday siol -.- Siannnnnnn, Lolol (:

Read True Singapore Ghost Stories just now (:
Got mention about 'Angels'.They do exist eh? (: & I think, I know.

I understood (: ThankYou. It can be classified as a blessing eh? (:

(:

2009-08-27T20:44:00.001+08:00

When people tends to have the yearn to forgive a cruelty, Its they,
Themselves, Who would suffer more than what they've gotten at the first place.

& Yet, It can't be helped when you felt so..
But yet, Its different, Totally.

Had fun today & Yesterday (: Played cards after school (: Hah!
& Sort of, Luck is not with me -.- Lol. But fun though (:
Tomorrow got Art ;D Gonna complete my 'ONLY' nice piece. Haha!
Shadings de, Flower. Damn niceeeeee (: Hehe...

I want to seal everything away.. :X
They really did throbs, Inside..
But, Its inside, Not outside (:

.

2009-08-26T19:38:00.000+08:00

If it was a wrong choice that I made, Then forget about it.. (:
I don't know whats to be, Even if I said. Meaningless (:
Suddenly, I just don't find any perspective from that choice.. (:
I made it wrong.. Totally :X

People will never know, If they did gain or lose somethings in life..
They just will never know how each situations change things..

Awwww, I slept alot in class today again -.- School is getting boring..
Or I should say, I'm getting lazier :X Hah.. Tiring -.- Bahh..
Tomorrow PE, God bless.. Byebye. (:

bahbah

2009-08-25T20:34:00.000+08:00

This is what you chosed, You get it.
Not our loss, But yours, If you shall think it is.
Just freak out of our lifes, If not, If you kanna humji,
Then, Don't blame us for being NOT nice to you uh.

& For your info, Its you who started this conflict.
You chosed this, Not us. So, Byebye.

Somehow, After yesterday, I seemed to get over this matter already :X
Hah (: So, I hope Letitia will cheer up uh! Don't care what he scolds me,
Just remember he has a freaking mouth with shits inside (: Hah.

Today band is quite fun eh? Although quite boring :X Hah (:
Can't help laughing at some things. LOL. (: & I'm lazy to do homeworks :X
Maths, D&T, English~~ Lazylazy xD Hahaha. SA2 coming ohhhhhhhhh.

I believe so (: Hee.. Cause really, I do (:

zzz

2009-08-24T20:16:00.001+08:00

Wow, Just simply because of you, A fucker ass, I crashed.
So stupid, To still believed you. How naive. But now I know,
I won't forgive anymore.. How simply, It can stabbed..
You must be damn happy & glad uh? That your shootings worked.
I shall clap for you then. Hope you don't regret this.

Since this, I decided, I shall forget you (: Thats that ...

I don't know why, I just crashed down totally at that moment..
Whats wrong with life man -.- Up, & Down? Dramatic uh? Wow.
Friends can be people who makes you happy, Yet kills you immediately.

Freak crap, I can't go band like this tomorrow.. Will ruin things...
& I hope, That freak won't come back. Extra..

Can I hope.... That you will know? The depth...

x

2009-08-23T22:39:00.001+08:00

I don't like choices. To chose or decide between things,
Is the hardest. Once Bitten, Twice Shy. Decisions that are wrong,
Will it be the same again? So how is choices to be fair?

Big Fam 4th Month today (:
Hope things will get better.. (: Will it?

I'm slacking more & more recently. Tons of homeworks uh!
Lol, & I never did any :X Uhohhhhh.. I don't like D&T..
I bet, Mr Illango will be damn pissed on Tuesday, Hah (:

Tomorrow, Practise & Focus (: Heee..

I don't know.. Things are starting to be unreal. Hah.. (:

[:

2009-08-22T19:20:00.003+08:00

HOHO! Anna is superrr happyyyyyyy!! ;DDD Hahaha!
Seems like my 'dark' days are over (: Yupyupyup (:

Band is FUN today ;D Drills, Games, Sectionals! Hahaha!
Then had combine (: Thanks Miss Chang, That my tone improve liao ;D
Super elated lah! Haha! & I don't know why, But I feel super secure,
When Miss Chang is around :X LOL. (: BUT SUPER HAPPYYYYYYYYY! ;D
& When Mr Lim played with the keyboard, Had a hard time laughing! ;D
Hahaha! After yesterday's lorry ride, People are happier eh? LOL (:

& On Thursday, I learned something (:
People tends to blame others first, When they are at fault too.
Yuppppp, Next time, We shall reflect first alright? (: Hehe.

Definitely, Life is better this way. Hah (:

Be happy please (: Even though, I made a wrong step.. Hah (: All I want, Is you.. Somehow..

Hoho!

2009-08-21T23:25:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LETITIA! ;D
& Belated to Arshad too! Hahaha (:

OHHHHHHHHH, Today is FUNNNNNNN! ;DD LOTS of photos! Hahaha (:
& The photos quality is quite bad ah, Cause the lorry is moving (: Lol.

Nice right? Hahaha (:

LOL! Old ShiZhe (:

Err, Super dark, Outside school. Hahaha. In phone then can see (:

& Now, Some random ones (: Hahahaha!

I love Eileen! ;D

Hahahaha! (:

Today band is okay (: Heeee, Then went the Conservatory Concert Hall (:
The process is fun! Hahaha. Then reach there~ Blahhhhh (:
& ShiZhe is super funny lah, LOL. Banged into each other's head -.- Hah.
After concert, PHOTO! Lololol! ;D Funfun, Then take ShiYun's papa lorry (:
ThankYou ShiYun! ;D Lots of us sit at the back! Hahaha!

& Photos again (: Played games too -.- LOLLL. But really fun today (:
Hahaha, Lots of people will be dead tired tomorrow! ;D LOL.
But I want this day again, Where all of us were together (: Hah.
Shall post tomorrow again (: Got something I want to say.. Hah (:

I definitely did made it wrong.. Utterly wrong..